Le Fauves: September 2008

Where do I begin... first of all I was looking at my blog over all and it just looked silly. Like everything I have posted has been just random things Ive found online with no substance. Better late than never to post something with meaning or at least something that has been stirring inside of me. I tend think a lot about things and sometimes doubt my actions, but everything I do has a purpose. Now for someone to comment on it and feel that they are disappointed with me as a person? now that calls for questioning. What could it be that I have done or not done to disappoint such a person. You would ask does it even matter? is this person of such stature that could affect my thoughts and my state of happiness. I say yes to that because I put my trust into this person and I still believe in this person even with everything he has told me. This was a matter of business and shouldn't step over the friendship boundaries, now for you to think of me as a failure because I have a feeling that's what this person is thinking or that I have other priorities... in which yes you are right. I have a job and I try to juggle a lot on a daily basis but my main focus is to become someone... to do something productive so I can be proud of myself. I am a hard worker... I do get things done, but how can I do so if I have very little direction? I might have made a mistake but it was one mistake now should I be held totally accountable for it? I personally don't think so. If you make a mistake I believe in giving the other a second chance. It really hurts me to think this person has lost faith in me because Ive never lost faith in them even when I felt he could do more on his behalf to better his economic situation. This is more than just a mistake in business... it seems it really has crossed over into our friendship and I'm saddened to say it might not get better. I wish the best for him and the best in all his endeavors. All I wanted was to help and I didn't ask for anything in return. Its funny how things get worse before they get better... as I always say and truly believe in "everything happens for a reason," lets just hope this event will lead me to something better.